


Stages of Rivalry

by FaeOfStars



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Lance also has some internalized biphobia fair warning, Lance forms family type bonds with other characters, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), She never came out as trans though she just told them she is a girl, also Shiro is a huge fucking hypocrite when it comes to romance advice lmao, btw my Pidge is a trans girl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-09-26 11:55:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9895421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaeOfStars/pseuds/FaeOfStars
Summary: Keith has been avoiding Lance for weeks, but Lance swears that he didn't even do anything to upset him. So why would Keith be avoiding him?5/21/17 UPDATE: Art added to Chapter 5: Depression





	1. Avoidance

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first Voltron fanfic. Hopefully I do a good job considering... I've been in this fandom for only like two weeks? Oh well. I just love these two boys so much.

   Something was up. Lance may be oblivious to certain things, but it was clear to him now that Keith was avoiding him. It wasn't just a day either. Keith had been dodging Lance for a few weeks now. At first, Lance shrugged it off, thinking that Keith was just being his moody self. However, at the start of the third week, Lance realized this was being done consciously. What could he have possibly done to piss him off this much? Lance tried to remember anything he could have previously pulled, but nothing came to mind. For some reason, this bothered Lance completely. He did enjoy his Keith-free time, but not having a rival gets boring after a while. And by boring, he meant a skull-crushing, stomach-churning, groan-inducing mix of boredom, worry, and anger.

   Lance was leaned up against the wall, arms crossed, as he stared down the hallway. Keith had just walked by, glanced into the room, and... sped up a bit to get out of Lance's sight. Lance lowered his eyebrows and began to think to himself. Did Keith really move faster just to leave the view of the blue Paladin, or was there another reason for his hasty movement?

   Lance let out a loud sigh before speaking, "What's his deal?"

   "Hmm?" Pidge hummed as she looked up from her laptop. "Who're we talking about here?"

   "Keith, of course," Lance replied.

   Pidge paused for a second. "I dunno. He seems as emo as ever, just more frustrated. Wait, now that I think about it, he has been talking about you."

   "Wait, really?" Lance exclaimed. "What was he saying?"

   "Not much. All he does is growl at himself and mutter 'I hate Lance' over and over again," Pidge said.

   "You're just making that up!" Lance accused her.

   "I'm not, I swear," she defended. "Whatever you did to him, he's really upset about it."

   "But I didn't even do anything!" Lance claimed.  

   Pidge rolled her eyes. "No offence, but I don't really believe that."

   Lance groaned. "I really can't remember doing anything, so I really doubt it. I wish he would just talk to me. Get angry, smack me, something! I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

   "Why don't you just ask him?" Pidge suggested.

   "He won't even stay around me long enough to do that. Honestly, we're lucky we haven't had to form Voltron recently, because he refuses to work with me," Lance pointed out.

   "You'd better do something. You never know when we'll need to fight," Pidge said as she returned her focus on her laptop.

   "I know," Lance huffed.

  Lance pushed himself off of the wall and made his way down the hall, hoping  to find Keith. Which way could he have gone? As he was walking, an idea sparked into Lance's mind. Keith seemed like he was going to the tech room for a reason, but then saw Lance and left. If Lance was right, Keith would be walking back this way anytime now. He stood at a corner by the tech room, patiently awaiting his prey.

   Minutes passed by and Lance began to think that maybe it wasn't a good idea to wait after all. He tried to think of where else Keith would be going. That's where he'd check next. As he was planning his route, Lance spotted the unmistakable mullet out of the corner of his eyes. 

   "Keith! Hold up!" Lance called to him.

   Keith froze for a moment, processing who exactly was saying his name. Once he realized it, he let out a growl. Okay, so maybe Pidge was right about him growling to himself. But did he really hate Lance enough to repeat it to himself? He was silent now, so Lance couldn't yet confirm that. Keith turned his head away from Lance and prepared himself to leave again.

  "Keith, don't you dare leave!" Lance yelled.

   Unsurprisingly, Keith didn't listen to his words. As if answering Lance's plea, the ship blacked out and tilted enough to send the two boys sliding. Lance felt something bump into him and caught it with his arms. The ship then straightened out and the lights came back on. Pidge's voice could be heard over the intercom, "Sorry about that, my bad. I may have overloaded the system." Lance looked down into his arms to reveal what it was he caught -- Keith.

   Lance smirked. "Look at you. You're already falling into my arms."

   Keith looked stunned for a moment. His eyes locked with Lance's for the slightest bit of time before Keith quickly turned his head away and shoved Lance. He wanted to reach out to stop him from walking away, but Keith finally spoke and made him change his mind.

   "Leave me alone."

   Leave him alone? Lance hasn't even seen the guy for weeks because Keith won't stay in the same room as him if he can avoid it! How could he possibly _not_  leave him alone when Keith made it impossible to talk to him? Lance's stomach flipped. Did Keith really hate him? Did he actually do something that made him so mad? How much longer would Keith avoid him?

   Lance stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, unable to keep his mind off of Keith. Keith wasn't always up his ass, of course, but he never plain out ignored Lance like this before. Again, he tried to think of anything he could have done that wouldn't sit nicely with Keith and again, he couldn't recall anything. He didn't even know why this bothered him so much. But he needed Keith back. He needed his rival back.


	2. Denial

     " _Look at you. You're already falling into my arms._ "  

   Something just had to go wrong with the ship for a split second. And that second was enough to send Keith sliding into the one person he had been spending weeks trying to avoid -- Lance. When the hall lit up again, Keith found himself wrapped in Lance's arms and staring into deep blue eyes. Lance, being Lance, let out that line with a flirtatious tone, not realizing the effect it had on Keith. 

   Immediately, Keith began to feel his cheeks heat up. He _had_  to get away before he could make a fool out of himself. He turned his face away from Lance, hoping that he wouldn't notice its reddish color. Keith changed the positioning of his arms just enough so he could give Lance a shove that allowed for his escape.

   As Keith was leaving his presence, he told him, "Leave me alone."

  The second after those three words fell from his tongue, he was filled with a mixed sense of relief and regret. If he were being honest, he didn't want Lance to leave him alone. In fact, if he could, he would have stayed in Lance's arms. No, no. He needed to get away from Lance. He didn't want to be around Lance and he certainly didn't want Lance to be around him. This couldn't be happening. Lance was an idiot! A stupid, arrogant, annoying, attractive.... Stop!

   Once he was out of Lance's earshot, Keith ran his hands through his dark long hair and growled, "I hate Lance. I hate Lance. I _hate_  Lance."

   No matter how many times he repeated that to himself, he couldn't get himself to believe it. He didn't hate Lance. He never did and he certainly didn't hate him now. More than anything, Keith hated himself. He hated the way he would stare at Lance, carefully examining his features. He hated how he had suddenly gone from not caring about Lance at all to caring about him too much, so much so that just being near him was distracting. He hated how Lance was constantly on his mind and he couldn't stop thinking about him. He hated how this weird spin of fate forced him to live on the same ship as Lance and he especially hated how he secretly enjoyed it. Most of all, he hated that he was too stubborn to do anything about what he was feeling or face Lance.

   Keith continued to wander the halls and let his mind wander as well, but much to Keith's dismay, it didn't want to drift away from the subject of Lance. His mind wanted to obsessively think about how Lance held him when the ship moved Keith into his arms. It wanted to repeat Lance's line over and over again. He could feel how hot his face was getting and if anybody were to pass by right then, they would be able to clearly see that he was the color of his own lion. He had to get his mind off of Lance somehow.

   He made his way towards the training deck. It was empty, which Keith was a little surprised by, because he was half expecting Shiro to be there. It was probably better that way, though. Shiro would surely notice his flustered appearance and question about it. The last thing Keith wanted to do was have a conversation about Lance. It would make it seem like he had feelings for Lance or something. He didn't actually _have_  feelings for Lance, did he? No, of course not. Keith shuddered at the idea. 

   Keith drew out the blade he that he had known for as long as he could remember. It was this blade that revealed that he was part Galra. He hadn't really trained with it much since it took its new form, so this was as perfect of a time as any. He observed it carefully before determining that he was prepared to start training and get Lance out of his head. Easy training wouldn't cut it today.

   "Start training level four," Keith instructed, although he knew that jumping even to level two without warming up could prove to be a challenge. Yet, a challenge was exactly what he needed to keep his focus on something else.

   Instantly, the gladiator bot appeared and without any hesitation, it began its attacks. Keith jumped to the side to avoid its first swing and was barely missed. He quickly spun around to strike his opponent, but the bot seemed to foresee Keith's tactic and grabbed his arm, flipping him over its shoulder. Keith grunted as his body came into contact with the hard flooring. Not wasting anytime, he pushed his hands against the ground to spring back up and dodge until he found the perfect opportunity to attack. The problem was, the bot was making multiple swings in a row, each one narrowly missing their target. It was difficult to time when to make a move when all he could manage to do was evade.

   Keith's breathing was heavy and sweat was starting to trickle down his neck. There was a dull, yet distracting, pain in his hip from the impact it made with the floor. As the bot continued to attempt its jabs at Keith, he jumped back enough from it to get into a fighting stance, ready to pounce. The bot neared him and Keith thrust forward, not landing a critical hit but instead scraping his blade against the side of the gladiator's arm. The bot reacted quickly and prepared to bring its weapon down on Keith. He grabbed its arm on instinct and made an attempt to disarm it. However, the bot had an escape plan. With its free arm, it released itself from Keith's grip and shoved him down afterwards.

   Keith landed with a thud and laid there motionless, panting terribly. The bot had just shoved him almost exactly like he had done earlier to Lance. He began to wonder if it hurt Lance as much as the fall hurt him now. Goddamn it, no. He wasn't supposed to be thinking about Lance! This was supposed to be a distraction from him! While Keith's mind was elsewhere, the bot hovered above him, ready to strike the final blow. Keith snapped himself out of his trance and realized he wouldn't be able to get his body to move fast enough to save himself.

   He shielded his face by crossing his arms in front of it and tightly squeezed his eyes shut as he yelled, "End training sequence!"

   On command, the gladiator bot had retreated. Keith slowly opened his eyes and let his guard down as he noticed he was alone in the room again. He warily sat up and tried to slow down his breathing as he rubbed his hip to soothe the aching. He couldn't believe that he had thought about Lance during combat. He tried to imagine what he would cause by doing that if the Galra attacked and began to grow frustrated with himself. He needed to be able to focus on something other than Lance!

    _Patience yields focus._  In most cases, Shiro's advice held up. But Keith had been patient. He had distanced himself from Lance for weeks. Yet, he couldn't get himself to focus on anything else. It was always Lance. Why was it always Lance? There was no reason for Keith to be obsessed with Lance like this. Well, maybe it was because... Shit, no. There was no way that Keith was starting to develop feelings for Lance. No fucking way.

   On the surface, that's what he forced himself to believe. But deep down, Keith just couldn't convince himself that was actually true. 


	3. Anger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is a little bit of internalized biphobia in this chapter. It's not much, but it's there.  
> I... may or may not have projected a little during that part, whoops...

   "What are you doing?"

   At the sound of his voice, Lance attempted to bolt up, forgetting that half of his body was hanging off of the couch. He had positioned himself so that his head and his shoulders were touching the ground but from his hips down were placed on the couch. However, his sudden movement sent the rest of him falling to the ground.

   "Keith, buddy! Long time, no see," Lance greeted him.

   Keith stared down at him with crossed arms and shook his head slightly. "I asked what you were doing."

   Lance sat up correctly this time and leaned his back against the edge of the couch. He grinned as he answered, "Oh, you know, just  _hanging_  around."

   Truthfully, he had been letting the blood rush to his head as he complained to himself about Keith. For some reason, being upside down while ranting was something that helped a lot. It made the rant sessions quick because eventually, he'd be too lightheaded to stay in position, but it also allowed enough time to let his emotions wander. However, from an outsider's perspective, like Keith's, it probably just would appear as if Lance were goofing off.

   Keith sighed and commented, more to himself than at Lance, "What did I expect?"

   "So," Lance began. "It's been weeks since you've last talk to me and you can't even manage to say 'hello'."

   Lance noticed Keith swallow as if he was preparing to say something and Lance waited for his response. After a while, Keith continued to give him a cold stare in silence and it was clear that Lance's request for a warm greeting wasn't happening.

   "Okay, fine. Never mind. I didn't need a 'hello'. I'm just glad you're actually speaking to me again," Lance said. 

   Keith still didn't say anything as he turned his head away, not even looking in Lance's direction anymore. 

   "Or not, I guess. Back to ignoring me then," Lance huffed.

   Something about what Lance said, whether it was the tone or the words themselves, had set Keith off. He was now looking directly at Lance and his arms fell to his sides. He hands balled up into fists by his waist.

   He didn't yell, but he was clearly annoyed and upset when he spoke, "I didn't want to ignore you. I had to."

   Lance eyed him carefully. "I'm sorry, but I can't think of any good reason to ignore your own teammate. You know, the one you have to work with to save and protect the lives of the entire universe."

   Keith's body tensed and he was clearly trying to keep himself from snapping. "I have my reason. You just wouldn't understand it."

   "Oh?" Lance questioned. "How are you so sure I wouldn't? You might be underestimating my ability of understanding."

   At this point, Keith was obviously pissed. His fists flew to his head and he gripped his hair in frustration. "You're so dense! I can't believe I-"

   Keith paused and his eyes widened for a moment. Lance raised an eyebrow, wondering why his sentence cut off. It seemed like he was about to let something slip out.

   "What was that?" Lance asked.

   "Nothing," Keith replied instantly. "Forget about it."

   "But-"

   "I said forget about it, Lance!"

   Lance froze. This time, he yelled. Keith yelled at him. Keith realized this too and also froze in place. The two stared at each other, but both avoided eye contact. Lanced focused on Keith's hand, which were clenched again. He glanced up to try and place where Keith was staring. It was somewhere on his face, but definitely not his eyes. He couldn't pinpoint where exactly it was. After minutes of mutual staring, Keith turned to leave. Lance immediately stood up and reached his arm out to him.

   "Wait, Keith, don't go. Look, I'm sorry. But I need to know what I did. I honestly don't know. I can't do anything if I don't even know what I did wrong," Lance begged.

   "I don't want to talk about it," he said.

   Lance sighed. "Come on, Keith. What am I supposed to do?"

  "Stop being you," Keith whispered to himself, but Lance picked up on it.

   "What?" he asked. "What is that supposed to mean?"

   Keith turned enough to be able to look at Lance. He seemed shocked that Lance heard him. His eyes examined Lance in his entirety. Lanced observed them carefully. They appeared to sparkle as Keith looked over Lance, which didn't match his current aggression at all. There was a fire in Keith's eyes that sparked once they locked with Lance's eyes. It was a strange flame. It had hints of anger in it, but something else held dominance over the flame. Lance couldn't quite place what it was, but it didn't seem like something negative, which conflicted with Keith's attitude towards him. 

   Before Lance could comment on his observations, Keith broke their eye contact and yelled, "Fuck you, Lance. Fuck you!"

   Lance's heart sunk and his stomach flipped, causing him to feel like he was about to throw up. He was absolutely stunned, his hand still hovering out in front of him. Nothing about Keith made sense to him right now. It didn't seem like Keith was mad about anything he did specifically, just mad at him in general. And somehow, that was an even worse feeling than just messing up once. As he thought about Keith, his last words ran through his head multiple times. Keith's words  _hurt_. Lance soon became aware of how watery his eyes were getting. Why did he care about what Keith thought about him? He was his rival and nothing else. He didn't need Keith's approval, he just needed to be better than him. Yet, he desired Keith's approval so badly. 

   "Was I not supposed to hear any of that?"

   Lance jumped at the voice. Keith was gone now and that definitely wasn't him speaking. Lance faced the source of the question. Coran stood awkwardly near an entrance to the room. How much did he hear? Lance felt very uneasy. 

   "Probably not," Lance replied, trying to be his cheerful self.

   "Oh my. Well, that was quite the conversation," Coran commented. He seemed just as uncomfortable as Lance was.

   Lance shrugged. "Yeah, I guess so. Listen, can I talk to you about something?"

   "Uh, oh! Yes, of course! What is it that you need?" Coran asked.

   Lance made his way back to the couch and slumped onto it, allowing himself to be engulfed in the cushions. "It's about Keith."

   "Not surprising in the slightest. What happened between you two, anyways?" Coran questioned as he moved towards Lance and slowly took a seat on the couch opposite to him.

   "I wish I knew," Lance said. "He's just pissed at me. I don't think I did anything specifically. He just is mad at  _me_  as a person. He probably hates me."

   Coran thought for a while before answering, "I don't think it's possible that he hates you, if that helps any. You wouldn't be able to form Voltron otherwise. But he is undeniably upset. Well, more frustrated than anything. If he's not mad at something you did, he's probably growing impatient about something he wants you to do that you aren't doing."

   Lance processed his words carefully. "What does he want me to do?"

   "I couldn't tell you that. He would need to. Although, the problem here seems to be that the two of you keep butting heads. The communication needed isn't happening," Coran told him.

   Lance sunk further into the couch, thinking about his situation. Keith was the one who refused to communicate. Lance was trying. Maybe he was even trying too hard for Keith's comfort, but at least he was still trying. Lance tried to think back to when Keith first started avoiding him. They were getting along just fine. They worked well together and Lance was able to joke with him. He thought about how eventually, Keith started laughing at his jokes, although it was rare. Every time Keith laughed, Lance couldn't help but smile and appreciate the fact that he cause that to happen.

   What happened to that Keith? It was so sudden. Keith's change of attitude towards him was dramatic. One day they were so close, close enough that Lance considered calling him his best friend, and the next day Keith acted like Lance didn't even exist. It was almost like Keith had found out something about Lance that he didn't like or couldn't handle. Suddenly, realization hit him and Lance let out a gasp.

   Lance talked to himself. A lot. Usually he'd only make dumb comments when he was around the others, but when he was alone in his room, he let his thoughts escape him. He would talk about all the things he didn't want to forget about Earth. He talked about the oceans, the rain, the sunshine, the mountains, the holidays, the music, and his family. Occasionally, he'd talk about his deepest insecurities, often resulting in a tear feast that he definitely didn't want anyone else to know about or see. Other times, he'd brag to nobody about all the cool experiences he's had as a part of Voltron and all the amazing planets he's been to and the aliens he's met. None of that would bother anyone, let alone Keith. It might make people feel sorry for him, but never would it make anybody mad enough to avoid him.

   There was something else that Lance talked to himself about privately in his room. Keith. From the moment Lance first met Keith back at the Garrison, he occupied Lance's thoughts. Right away, Lance admired Keith. He was always impressed by the skill Keith showed, usually without any effort. Keith was everything Lance wanted to be, and it seemed, everything Lance wanted to be with. He didn't know when he realized that his "admiration" for Keith was actually something more, but he did know that he had that crush on Keith for such a long time, even now.

   It scared him. He was always afraid of what people would think if they knew that he was attracted to men. Sure, he liked girls too, but that was something that was acceptable. Liking boys was not. Lance tried to get over his crush on Keith by claiming him to be his rival. It was fun and Lance thoroughly enjoyed competing with Keith, but it did nothing to erase his feelings for him. He flirted with so many girls too, desperately trying to convince himself that he only liked girls. It never worked, of course, but it did make for a good distraction. Even now as they traveled the universe, he tried to hit it off with any alien girl he could. He hoped that maybe he'd genuinely fall for one of them and get over Keith, but they were always either uninterested or just wanted to use him.

   Lance rarely did it, but every once in a while, he'd talk about his feelings for Keith just so they weren't always bottled up. He would be extremely quiet, unlike his other private thought dumps, as he gushed on about everything he loved about Keith. He would remind himself of how much he admired his skill and enjoyed his company, and even how he secretly liked his mullet that Lance always made fun of. Those few days were enough to keep his mind off of Keith when needed and focus on what was actually important. He could easily go about his life pretending that Keith was just his rival and nothing else. He was fine with it. 

   Lance was so used to burying his crush on Keith away, so much so that there were times where he could forget about it entirely. But every time Keith would smile, laugh, or get close enough to him, he'd be reminded of it again. It was no longer at a point that it bothered or distracted him, until Keith started avoiding him and acting like a dick around him. It hurt him more than it should have. But what if that were the reason Keith avoided him and was upset at him? Did he somehow overhear Lance freely talking about his crush in his room? Was Keith disgusted that Lance liked him? _"Stop being you."_ Is that what he meant by that?

   "What is it, boy? Spit it out already!" Coran demanded, interrupting Lance's thoughts. 

   Without thinking, Lance blurted out exactly what he was thinking, "I think Keith found out that I like him."

   Lance awaited his reaction, expecting him to be disgusted like he thought Keith was. Instead, Coran simply looked confused.

   "I don't understand why that would come as a surprise. You've formed Voltron numerous times and paladins must have some sort of positive bond in order to accomplish that," Coran said. "Nor am I sure why that would cause him to be upset at you."

   Lance was slightly disappointed that Coran didn't understand what he was actually saying. He should have been relieved that he didn't truly reveal his crush to him, but he's been keeping it to himself for so long that he felt that somebody had to know. He needed to tell someone.

   "No, not like that. I meant that, well, uh," Lance explained, struggling to find the right words. Was he really going to do this? What if Coran started avoiding him too? Coran may be weird and sometimes hard to listen to, but Lance enjoyed talking with him. He viewed Coran as the closest thing to a father figure out here and he didn't want to lose that. There's no going back after this. "I like _like_  Keith. You know, romantically. You're... you're the only one I've ever told that."

   Coran didn't say anything and Lance realized how sweaty his hands were. He shifted around in his seat to try to get comfortable, but his worries wouldn't allow him to be. Lance observed Coran, hoping to pick up on any hints of how he felt. Coran wore no expression that told any clues about his emotions towards Lance. All he did was run his fingers through his mustache as he pondered what Lance told him.

   Finally, Coran spoke up, "And you're worried that he doesn't return those feelings?"

   Lance was surprised by his calm reaction. "Well, I guess. But it's mainly the fact that it's me, a guy, that likes him, also a guy."

   "I suppose that could make him feel uncomfortable if he weren't open to that idea. I think discussing the topic with him would help make the situation less hectic," Coran advised.

   Lance paused. "So, you don't hate me?"

   "Of course not, don't be silly! I certainly didn't expect it from you, but I am in full support of you. We're a team, after all. I'm honored that you decided to share something so important to you with me and I'd be more than happy to help you get into an environment with him where the two of you can talk," Coran told him.

   Lance allowed his body to relax as he let out a deep breath. He smiled at Coran with watery eyes. He couldn't believe how easily he accepted him. He began to feel a tear travel down his cheek and he immediately moved his hand to wipe it away. He hated crying in front of people.

   "Thank you, Coran," Lance said.

   "It's no problem, my boy. But, ah, I should let you know that I'm not the only one who heard the information you've told me. Sorry about that. I meant to turn it off," Coran stated as he tapped gently on a mic attached near his collarbone, which Lance hadn't noticed before.

   "Who..?" Lance started as the question was answered before he could even finish asking it.

   "Hey, Lance," Pidge's voice came from a small speaker on the mic. "I know I probably wasn't supposed to hear any of that, but I'm proud of you, buddy."

   Lance gulped, really struggling to keep back tears at this point. Pidge accepted him too? "Thanks, Pidge."

   "Do me a favor and swing by before you go talk to your lover boy," Pidge said jokingly. "Coran will set things up while you're here. I just thought maybe we should chat since I so rudely eavesdropped on your private conversation."

   He nodded, soon remembering that Pidge couldn't actually see him, and replied, "Okay, yeah. I will."

   Lance wasn't sure how the later moment with Keith would play out and it made Lance feel so many things. He was still ecstatic over the acceptance he got from Coran and Pidge, but could Keith accept him like that as well? What about the rest of the team? He wasn't sure how anybody else would take the news and he certainly didn't expect the two that knew to react as they did. He always expected hate. Hate was all he thought he would get for liking men, just like the hate he had towards himself for it. As anxious as he was, Lance was also looking forward to the two planned chats. Maybe things would end up better than he expected. 

   Pidge wanted to talk to him, so Lance made his way towards the one place she always seemed to be. As he approached the room, he stuck his head in to make sure she was there. Sure enough, she was in there sitting in her chair while resting her head on her knees that were pulled up to her chest.

   "Hey," Lance greeted as he moved completely into the room.

   Pidge lowered her knees and spun the chair to face Lance. "Oh, hey. You made it."

   Lance stood awkwardly by her. It was so different being around her now that she knew one of his secrets. "Yeah, well, you told me to be here."

   "Mhmm," she said. She moved her eyes up and down, looking all over Lance as if he was a brand new person. He noticed that she gave him a small smile. "So, Keith, huh?"

   Lance turned his head away from her and felt his face heat up a bit. Okay, it was a little weird that she knew about his crush and was discussing it with him. "Yeah.."

   "It's kinda surprising to me. You were always so girl obsessed and acted like you couldn't stand Keith," she pointed out. "How long have you liked him anyways?"

   "I'm not sure. I first realized it back at the Garrison," he replied.

   "The Garrison? That long?" Pidge questioned. "And you somehow managed to keep it a secret?"

   Lance shrugged. "Secret's out now, but yes. I always tried to convince myself that I didn't actually like him in that way. I told myself that he's just a rival. I guess it was dumb anyways since he didn't even know who I was until we all got stuck here together."

   "He knows who you are now" she said.

   "But I don't think he wants anything to do with me. I don't think he's as accepting as you or Coran," he replied.

   Pidge lost her smile. "How are you so sure? What if you're just overthinking things and he doesn't even know you like him?"

   Lance thought about it. "Maybe you're right. We'll find out when I get to actually talk to him."

   Pidge nodded and a mischievous smirk crossed her face. "I guess you really have a thing for aliens."

   "What? No, that's just a coincidence. I didn't even know he was part Galra when I started liking him!" Lance said, his face heating up more and more.

   "I'm just messing with you," she laughed. "I actually think it's really cute. I just thought of you as annoying flirt, but it looks like even Lance can fall in love."

   God, was it even possible for his face to feel any hotter? "I never said I was in love with him."

   "You never said you weren't," Pidge retorted.

   Lance fell silent. Did he love Keith? He wasn't sure. It was hard to tell if he hadn't really been in love before. He had no idea what love actually felt like. He must have taken too long to think about this, because Pidge started speaking again. 

   "I really am proud of you, you know. It was really brave of you to come out, even if you only meant to tell Coran," she said quietly. "I wish I were that brave."

   Lance looked at her, shocked. "What do you mean by that? Are you..?"

  She stared at her feet. "I don't know. I think about that kind of stuff sometimes. I'm still so young, so it shouldn't matter much to me, yet it does. I just have no idea right now. But when I figure it out, I hope I can tell others like you did. You'd accept me no matter what, right?"

   Lance smiled gently at her as he spoke, "Of course, you accept me, don't you? It wouldn't make sense for me to not support you too."

   "Thanks, Lance," she said.

   "You're welcome, but I should be thanking you. I was so scared of anyone knowing, but you and Coran made me feel more comfortable with it. You guys accepting me is helping me accept myself," Lance told her.

   Pidge made eye contact with him again and gave him another smile. That smile seemed so familiar to him and it gave him a warm feeling in his chest.

   "You remind me of my little sister," Lance said suddenly.

   "Huh?" 

   Lance walked over to her chair and knelt beside her. "My little sister is so sweet. She can be mean and annoying at times, but I could tell she cared about me. She always gave me the cutest smiles when I made her happy. They look just like yours. I may not have my little sister here with me, but I think I made my own little sister out here anyways."

   Pidge stared at him with widened eyes that seemed like they were getting watery. "Really?"

   Lance nodded and returned her smile. "She definitely wasn't as smart as you are, though. You're much less of a pest too."

   Pidge laughed a little at his comment, causing Lance to smile even more. Right then, Lance started to become aware of just how tired he felt.

   "I'm so worn out from today. All these emotions, wow. I think I'm gonna get to bed," Lance stated. "Let Coran know that I can get up early tomorrow to talk to Keith."

  "Alright, I'll tell him. Goodnight, Lance," Pidge replied.

  Lance stood up and began to head to his room. "Goodnight, Pidge. Don't stay up too late."

   "Wait!" he heard Pidge call as he neared the door.

  Lance turned around to see Pidge run up to him and tightly wrap her arms around him. He could feel her nuzzle her head into his chest.

   "Good luck with Keith tomorrow, big bro," she muttered into his shirt.

   If his smile wasn't big enough already, it grew even more hearing what Pidge called him. He returned her embrace. Already, things were starting to look up for him. He was even slightly excited for what tomorrow might bring.


	4. Bargaining

   Keith yawned as he walked through the ship's halls. It was another night with very little sleep. He always woke up very early, but usually it wasn't this early. He blamed that on his wandering mind. After blowing up at Lance, it was all he could think about. God, he was so stupid! Why did he even yell at him? Lance probably wanted nothing to do with him anymore and Keith couldn't blame him. He didn't even understand why he was acting like this himself. He didn't know why, but he wanted to be around Lance so badly. Yet, he kept pushing him away and giving Lance every reason in the world to hate him. He growled to himself again, but he didn't repeat the chant of how he hated Lance. He gave up on trying to tell himself that. He just couldn't hate Lance. 

   Keith entered the kitchen and prepared himself a cup of water. He stomach rumbled, but he couldn't bring himself to eat right now. As he gulped down his drink, he noticed dishes sitting in the sink. Somebody else was up before him? There were only a few people that would wake up before him and even so, it rarely happened. Allura was the most common early riser, but she usually made an effort to clean up after herself. Pidge never actually woke up early, she would just stay up all night. She would tend to stay in her room, but would sometimes grab some snacks from the kitchen. Those snacks never required dishes, however. That only left one person. Keith placed his used cup in the sink and headed to the one place where the view of space was its best.

   "Shiro?" Keith called as he strolled in.

   Keith could see the tuff of white hair move, making the man noticeable, even in the dim lighting. So he was awake. Shiro greeted him and Keith moved towards him, taking a seat by him. Shiro examined the boy next to him, noticing the dark bags under his eyes that suggested he didn't get much sleep.

   "Are you feeling okay?" Shiro asked. "You look exhausted."

   Keith sighed. "I don't know. I barely slept."

   "Is there a reason for that? Is something bothering you?" Shiro questioned further.

   Keith didn't answer. He just stared at his own lap. He regretted that he didn't put his jacket on or even his gloves. He wanted something to discretely tug at to calm his nerves. Instead, he found himself balling up his hands into fists and letting his nails dig into the skin of his palm. His knuckles began to turn white and the pressure of his nails were beginning to leave a stinging pain on his palm, but his continued to press them in deeper.  He glanced up at Shiro, who had his eyes glued to him the entire time he was silent. Finally, Keith took a deep breath and spoke.

   "Have you ever been in love, Shiro?"

   Shiro was taken aback from Keith's question. His mouth hung open slightly, not knowing how to answer. Keith's eyes were fixed on him, desperately awaiting a response.

   Shiro rubbed the back of his neck as he replied, "I guess so. Why do you ask?"

   Keith finally took his eyes off of Shiro and brought his attention back to his lap. "I... I think I might like somebody. I'm probably wrong though. It might be my thoughts getting ahead of me."

   "Oh," Shiro said, immediately thinking of the two girls on the ship. Either one seemed like a bad match for Keith, especially taking their ages into consideration.

   "If it's not weird to ask, what's it like? Being in love?" Keith said, still staring at his lap.

   Shiro glanced at Keith before staring out into space, observing the galaxy around him as he spoke, "It's something, that's for sure. It can feel like the most wonderful thing at some times while at others, it feels like it's destroying you. You care about that person more than anybody and you're willing to make sacrifices for them. You enjoy being around them and you could use any excuse to be near them. They make you want to be better. You don't ignore their negative traits, but their positive ones far outshine them and you're willing to work with them to improve on their flaws. Even if they struggle or have bad days, you're still there for them. You want to be there for them."

   Keith removed his gaze from his lap and focused on Shiro as he continued to explain the concept. In between his words, Keith noticed that he would smile fondly. He wondered if Shiro had anybody in mind that he applied everything he said to. With every word Shiro said, Keith thought carefully about what he was feeling. It all made sense. All of it was exactly how Keith was feeling, yet he didn't want it to. _It feels like it's destroying you._ That was completely accurate. The thought of being in love was almost nauseating to Keith. He's never been in love before. Sure, he had little crushes here and there, but never has it been anything like this. And of all people he felt this way about, it just had to be _Lance_. Lance McClain, the guy who flirted with almost every girl he saw and insisted on being Keith's rival and nothing more. There was no way Lance would even be interested in him. Finally, the truth struck Keith hard. Oh my god, he was in love with Lance.

   Keith groaned loudly and covered his face with his hands, causing Shiro to stop dead in his explanation and give him a concerned look.

   "Keith? Are you alright?" Shiro asked.

   "I don't know," Keith continued to groan. "What am I supposed to do?"

   "Whatever you think feels right," Shiro told him.

   Keith slowly dragged his hands down his face before speaking, "I don't know what feels right. None of this feels right! I can't... I can't just tell him, can I?"

   "Him?" Shiro repeated.

   Keith realized what he just said. _Shit_. Him. He said him, making it clear that he liked a boy. He should've said them, but he just had to say him and out himself. 

   "Yeah, uh..." Keith stammered nervously. There was no point in hiding it now. Shiro knew what he heard. "I'm...."

   Shiro placed a hand on Keith's shoulder, signalling that he didn't have to finish his sentence. He sighed quietly to himself, which sounded like it was... out of relief? "It's okay, don't strain yourself trying to tell me. I know what you mean. But in that case, it might make things a little complicated. Would he even be able to reciprocate?"

   "I have no idea," Keith muttered. "I really doubt it."

   Shiro let his arm fall back to his side. "I guess it's normal to have doubts about if your feelings are returned. Even more so in your situation, too. I know there's a lot on the line, but maybe you would feel better if he knew."

   Keith frowned and crossed his arms on his chest. "I don't know about that. There's too much on the line. It could ruin our ability to work together and form Voltron. I can't put the universe in danger just for one person."

   Shiro noted what Keith said. He had implied that it definitely was one of the other paladins. 

   "Think about it for a while, okay?" Shiro told him.

   Keith nodded. Afterwards, neither of the two knew what to say and practically gave up on trying to carry on the conversation. They remained where they were, sitting in utter silence and gazing off into the galaxies. The silence was broken when they heard footsteps shuffling into the area.

   "Hello? Keith, are you in here?" Coran's voice called out.

   "Yeah!" Keith called back.

   Coran came into their sight as he explained his presence, "Oh, good. Listen, I've been a little concerned about your friendship with Lance. He asked me to set up a time and place for you two to actually talk things out. Will you be able to attend?"

   "Alright, whatever," Keith huffed. What was he doing? Why was he agreeing to this? He couldn't keep avoiding Lance, but he just couldn't be alone with him yet. His face started heating up at the thought of it.

   "Excellent!" Coran chimed. "I'll be sure to let him know. We'll be at the training deck shortly."

   As fast as he came, Coran was gone. Keith processed the future events he had agreed to. There was too much that could go wrong. If Lance didn't hate him now, he sure would later. But maybe it was a good thing. Maybe talking to Lance would remind Keith of just how obnoxious he is. Maybe Keith would realize that he actually doesn't like Lance. It was worth a shot, right? Keith pushed himself off of the ground and began to head to the training deck as Coran instructed.

   "I guess I'm leaving now," Keith stated as he stood up.

   "Keith," Shiro stopped him. Keith turned to face him and saw a small grin plastered on his face. "It's Lance, isn't it?"

   Knowing exactly what Shiro meant by that question, blood rushed to Keith's cheeks and there was no doubt that his face was absolutely red, red, red. He let out an exaggerated groan but afterwards, nodded slightly at Shiro. This caused Shiro's grin to grow slightly larger, making it known that this fact was blatantly obvious to him.

   "Good luck," Shiro told him, giving him a thumbs up.

   "Thanks," Keith replied and then whispered to himself, "I'll need it."

   As Keith left Shiro's sight, he let out a deep breath. He was now aware of just how nervous he was. What was going to happen? What exactly did Lance want to talk about? He ran a hand through his hair in attempt to soothe himself. This was stressing him out way more than he intended it to. It was supposed to be simple, in and out. But Keith wanted to stay and talk to Lance as much as he could for as long as he could. Too soon, he stood in front of the door to the training deck and braced himself.

   Right away when the door slid open, Keith caught sight of Lance. He was sitting on the floor with his legs crossed, still dressed in a robe. He let out a deep yawn and rubbed his eyes gently with his balled up hands. It was too early for Lance to be awake, way earlier than he was used to. However, once he saw Keith enter the room, it was as if somebody had downed a dozen espressos into Lance's throat. A burst of newfound energy hit him and a large, toothy smile found its place on his glowing face. He bolted up and was practically radiating with happiness. The drastic change in his demeanor made Keith start to feel weak in his knees. He couldn't help but think that Lance becoming overjoyed by Keith's appearance was incredibly cute. Wait, no. Abort mission. Lance was _not_  cute. Yet, there he was, being Keith's exact definition of cute. _Ugh_.

   "Keith!" Lance exclaimed as he spread his arms out to the side, as if readying himself for a hug.

   Keith crossed his arms and fought his urge to run up to him and tightly wrap his arms around him. He hated the fact that he even wanted to do that. He looked away from Lance, trying to dispel his thoughts about him.

   "Hey," Keith managed to reply in his flustered state.

   Lance let his arms fall to his side and it seemed like he was trying to hide his disappointment, only making Keith want to hug him more. Lance rocked back and forth on his feet for a while before slowly approaching Keith. He came too close for comfort, making it so that the two boys stood face to face with only inches between their noses.

   "Are you feeling okay? Your face is like, really red right now," he said and brought his hand to Keith's forehead. "And you're really hot."

   Keith gulped. Why did he have to be so close?

   "In more ways than one," Lance added with a wink. 

   Keith thought about what he said. Oh god. What the hell. His heart skipped a beat before pounding rapidly, as if making up for the missed beat. Did Lance just call him hot? Keith moved his eyes to glance up to him. He couldn't tell if he was joking or not. He had to be joking. He couldn't be serious. There was no way.

   "I'm fine. I've just been sick," Keith lied. He pushed Lance away from him so that there was more distance between the two. "You probably shouldn't get too close."

   "Oh, okay," Lance frowned. He returned to his spot on the floor and gestured for Keith to follow. "Come take a seat anywhere you'd like. It's all floor."

   He wanted to sit right next to Lance, but that was an awful idea. Not only did he tell him he was sick, but it'd only make things extremely awkward when he could sit anywhere in there. He settled for sitting across from Lance, far enough for somebody to lay down in between them.

   "So..." Keith started. He had no idea what he was supposed to say. The last time they spoke, Keith yelled at Lance and cussed him out. That's not an easy thing to recover from, yet Lance didn't seem to care about it. It wasn't unlike Lance to forget important interactions.

   "How long?" Lance asked.

   Keith jumped a bit. How long? Did he somehow know about his feelings? "What?"

   "How long have you been sick?" he clarified.

   Keith let himself breathe, not even realizing that he had been holding his breath. At least that secret was still safe, but he wasn't sick. He had to continue lying. "Uh... just a few days."

   Lance lowered his eyebrows. "So that's definitely not why you've been avoiding me."

   "Fucking kill me," Keith muttered and buried his face into his hands. "This isn't what I thought you wanted to talk about."

   "What the hell did you think I wanted to talk to you about? You can't just avoid somebody for like a month and not expect them to wonder why," Lance said angrily, but then his tone changed. "Unless, you wanted to talk about something you found out about me..."

   Keith looked up from his hands. "I found something out?"

   Lance stared at Keith for a while, measuring if he was genuinely confused. Once he found his answer, he sighed, "Never mind, I thought you knew. I guess not. Back to the topic at hand, why have you been avoiding me?"

   "Wait, no!" Keith shouted. "You can't just reveal that you have this secret that you thought I knew but I didn't and then go back to me. What are you talking about?"

   "I'm obviously not going to tell you, genius," Lance replied. "It's called a secret for a reason. Plus, you're just stalling. Just tell me why you've been avoiding me and then we can be all happy and friendly again."

   "I told you before, you won't understand. Besides, I'm not avoiding you anymore, am I? It shouldn't matter," Keith said.

   "Fine, don't tell me. God, you're so stubborn," Lance said. He reached for something near his collarbone and tilted his head towards it as his fingers toyed with it. "Hey, Coran, I'm gonna need your help."

   Keith pouted, "You can't just call in for backup."

   "Well, I did, so ha!" Lance said and stuck his tongue out.

   Keith considered copying Lance's action and stick his own tongue out, but he resorted to just growling at him. Soon enough, the training deck's door opened again and Coran entered holding two familiar objects in his arms. _Oh no_. Keith gulped, now knowing Lance's plan. If he wouldn't tell him why he had avoided him, he was going to show him. Keith's head snapped in Lance's direction and he saw his mischievous grin. Lance looked so pleased with himself for finding such a great loophole. Coran handed Keith one of the headsets that they had used to meld their minds together back before they first formed Voltron. Lance took it and immediately placed it on his head. 

   "You'll both have to focus on working together," Coran stated. "Put your differences behind and work as a team. Keith, you'll need to actually put your headset on."

   Keith stared at the headset in his hands. This was such a dirty way of Lance getting what he wanted. He hesitated before slowly putting it over his dark mullet and desperately tried to think of anything other than Lance. He focused in on his memory of the blade of Marmora, hoping that maybe Lance would think he was still just trying to wrap his head around the fact that he was part Galra, although it was quite a while ago. As he thought about the trial, the images he imagined were projected in front of him. So far so good.

   Lance piped up, "Actually, Coran, I think I can handle it from here. Just keep an eye on Keith's screen, will you? So, Keith, why have you been avoiding me?"

   Keith's attention drifted to Lance. He had his eyes shut and wore a small smile. He looked so peaceful and calm. It was obvious he was trying to focus his own thoughts and only wore a headset to encourage Keith to participate. Keith's eyes fluttered to Lance's screen and observed the image projected. In it, Lance was laying on his bed, talking to himself, with his hands moving around to his speech. The headsets didn't produce audio, but Keith knew that Lance would talk to himself in his room. Their rooms were so close to each other, so Keith would usually hear it, but he never paid attention to what he actually said during those sessions. He may be curious, but Keith also respected Lance's privacy, for the most part. Him peeking at the screen right now was an exception. Yet, he began to wonder what memorized chat Lance was thinking about. He looked so happy in the projection and somehow, it made Keith feel warm inside. 

   Keith directed his gaze off of the screen and returned it back to Lance's face. He examined how his brows moved as he concentrated and the way the ends of his lip curved upwards. After getting lost in Lance's features, he suddenly snapped back into reality. He looked back to his own screen, eyes widening at what he saw. His memories of the trial were gone and replaced by his daydreams. The projection showed the two boys wrapped in each others arms with their faces drawing closer and closer. Keith's eyes moved towards Coran, who had his eyebrows raised. The projected couple's lips were almost touching at this point.

   Keith yanked the headset off, causing strands of his hair to stick up messily. He dropped it on the floor in front of him and glared at Coran. "This is so stupid. Don't you dare tell him!"

   Lance's eyes were wide open now and he also had taken his headset off. "Woah, woah. You can't do that! He needs to tell me what he saw!"

   Keith was standing now. "I didn't give you permission to go barging into my thoughts! You should be happy enough that I even showed up here and put that damn thing on!"

   Lance avoided making eye contact with Keith and stared at the floor, looking defeated. The smile that distracted Keith earlier was now nowhere to be seen.

   "Look, I'm sorry I've been avoiding you. It was stupid and selfish of me to do. But I'm not upset at you, okay? You didn't do anything wrong. I'm just... dealing with something right now," Keith apologized while looking down at Lance. "I don't hate you, if that's what you think. I promise."

   Lance lifted his head and let his eyes meet Keith's. "That's a relief, at least. You can talk to me about it, though. Whatever you're dealing with, I mean. I want to help you, Keith."

   Keith shook his head. "I really can't tell you. Not now. I don't know if I ever can. I'm gonna have to go through this on my own. I'm... just gonna leave now, is that okay?"

  Lance nodded at him and Keith instantly left the room, not wanting to see the entirety of Lance's reaction. He felt guilty enough about how he was acting and he didn't need to see the effects of it. Not even a minute passed by when Keith began to feel sadness build up in his chest and although they were literally travelling in the middle of space, he could feel gravity pulling him down, making his body feel heavy. 

   There was no denying it now. There was no point in fighting it anymore. He loved Lance. Love was something that Keith expected would only bring him happiness, but that was what he didn't feel. How could he be happy? How in the universe could Lance ever love him back? It was absolutely impossible and Keith was hurt by it. He hated hiding it, but he was afraid of how Lance would treat him if he knew. All he could do was suffer through his feelings until they went away, if they would even vanish. Keith made his way to his room, plopped onto his bed, and began to reflect on his situation. Maybe things would just piece themselves together. That's all Keith hoped for.


	5. Depression

   He wasn't sure how he had wanted the conversation to go, but he certainly wasn't expecting _that_. He didn't even know how to feel about it. Keith didn't hate him. He wasn't even mad at him. But something was wrong with him, and he was sure it was more than just him being sick. Lance kept his eyes locked on the training deck's door, hoping that Keith would return through it. He wouldn't though, and Lance knew this. He let him leave when he just wanted him to stay long enough to solve his problems and comfort him. 

   "Coran?" Lance asked, still staring at the door. "You saw what he was thinking about. I know he doesn't want you to tell me what you saw, but... Is he okay?"

    "I'm not sure. I don't quite know what I saw, but I have an idea. I think..." Coran replied, trailing off to gather his thoughts. "I think you need to tell him about that secret of yours."

   Lance raised an eyebrow, slowly realizing what Coran was advising him to do. "You want me to tell him that I like him?"

   Coran just shrugged in response, causing Lance to let out a growl similar to the ones Keith had been doing. That was absolutely _not_  something Lance wanted to do, especially with how Keith had been acting towards him lately. Even though he said he wasn't mad at Lance, Lance still wasn't comfortable with telling him something like that. And truthfully, Lance wasn't sure if he was ready to have it known that he even liked men. Sure, Pidge and Coran knew, but they didn't really count. Coran was extremely open minded, so it really shouldn't have been too surprising that he accepted him right away. Pidge was... well, just Pidge. She may be a brat, but she was trustworthy. Pidge knowing was almost exactly like Pidge not knowing, except that the secret brought them closer together. But Keith was different. Lance wasn't sure how Keith would react to his attraction to guys, let alone _him_. 

   "I'll think about it," Lance finally said. 

   With that, Coran nodded and left the room, leaving Lance alone in his thoughts again. Lance plopped back onto the floor, crossing his legs and burying his face in his hands. This wasn't something that could be dealt with so easily and so simply. Even on Earth, this would be complicated, but out here in the endlessness of the universe, its difficulty was intensified. They were all stuck here on this ship together. If and when he tells Keith, there'd be nowhere to hide if there were a bad reaction. He couldn't just leave the country and change his name (something Lance _totally_ never thought about doing before), because there was no country to leave. There was only space. Any possible way he could leave the ship could be tracked down by Allura and regardless, the team needed him there. He couldn't abandon them.

   At some point while lost in his thoughts, Lance had stood up and left the training deck. He didn't know where exactly he was going, but going on a stroll through the ship just might help him think through his dilemma. Eventually, Lance found himself staring out from one of the ship's many windows, gazing into the galaxy surrounding them. It wasn't the same as looking at the night sky from the comfort of his room back on Earth, but the sense of familiarity gave him some ease. 

   It was somewhat comforting to watch as the distant stars twinkled in a steady rhythm. There were some planets scattered across his view as well as some asteroids, but his eyes were focused only on the stars. Never in his lifetime did he think he'd be able to see so many stars as close as he has. Other planets he definitely expected, but stars, no. The only star he thought he'd be able to see more than just a twinkle was the sun, yet the ship had traveled nearby multiple stars, even though one of those times could have brought the entire crew imminent death. He blamed that on the whole "haunted castle" thing, though. Every other time was from a safe distance that he could enjoy. 

   Lance's eyes locked in on two stars in particular. He observed the way they seemed to dance around each other, pulling on the other and dragging them in orbit. Their movements were so in sync and worked perfectly with each other.  Binary stars, they were called. Two stars orbiting each other, working together in harmony. Lance thought it was incredible, but he also couldn't help but think that they didn't always fit together so well as they did now. There had to be some initial clash that made their dance sloppy and uncertain. Yet over time, the dance became neater and far more beautiful. Lance's own reflection hovered over his view of the blue star. He grinned slightly as he continued to watch the two stars. Soon, Lance noticed a reflection that formed over the red star, breaking his concentration.

   Lance spun around so quickly that he almost lost his balance. "Keith?"

   "Lance," Keith said back, more out of surprise that Lance was there than to answer him.

   Lance had forgotten about the stars he had been staring at and put all of his attention to Keith. He rested one hand on his hip while his other arm hung idly by his side. He tried to hide his eyes behind his dark bangs, but Lance could see them looking anywhere but at him. Lance's heart began to pound terribly within his chest and his shoulders tensed. Could he tell Keith now? Did he even want to? Their silence continued. He had to say something. This was getting awkward. 

   "Keith, ummm... I-"

   "Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude," Keith interrupted. "This spot is mostly used for private reflections and I'm sure that's what you were doing . I was just, uh, passing by here to go to my room."

   Keith was rambling, he could tell. He didn't usually ramble. Lance wanted to question him about it, but bit his tongue. He didn't need to know why Keith was rambling. He needed to confess, didn't he? Yet instead, Lance moved further out of Keith's way and let him walk past him. As soon as Keith was out of sight, Lance threw his hands to cover his face and groaned loudly to himself. He had a chance and he blew it! It wasn't like him to fail at romantic attempts. But most of his previous attempts were empty flirts done out of desperation to hide his feelings towards men. This was different. This was more serious. He actually cared about the consequences this time because he actually _liked_  Keith. Oh god, he completely and totally liked Keith. He realized this when talking to Coran, but the thought struck him harder than before. He'd run into Keith again. He had to, now that he was no longer avoiding him. Eventually, Lance would be able to gather the courage to confess, right?

   Over the next few weeks, Keith seemed to stay true to his word about not avoiding Lance. That should've made him feel better, expect that it did the opposite. Keith was there, and that was great, but he didn't speak. He refused to look anybody directly in the eye and when he did speak, it was usually quieter than Keith's voice was normally. It wasn't all that bad, but it hurt Lance. He wished that he knew what Keith was going through. Why did he have to be so stubborn, especially when it came to his emotions? The paladins started to make progress. Keith wasn't his normal self, but he didn't stay silent. Shiro got him to converse first. Then it was Hunk. The rest still had problems, but he spoke a few words at a time to them. All progress was absolutely destroyed, however, when Shiro disappeared.

   The plan was perfectly thought out. It was going well. The execution was a little off, but it worked. They brought the Galra ship through the wormhole after some obstacles. And it was a rough battle, but they all pulled through. Lance was sure that without the huge threat of Zarkon hanging over their heads, Keith would be able to cheer up. Maybe even talk to Lance. The universe had other plans. After returning back to the ship, the paladins reunited, with the exception of one. Keith was the first to enter the black lion, with the rest of the team following close behind. It was empty with no sign of any living thing, or dead thing for that matter. Shiro was gone with no trace left behind. 

   After the shock, Keith bolted out of the robotic animal and headed straight to his room. The remaining members of the team all debated going after him, but decided it was best for everyone to process the situation on their own. Lance intended on it, but just couldn't stick to it. How could he when he heard Keith, one of the coolest, most fearless, and strongest people he knew, break down in tears? It was definitely not like Keith. Anger was the only emotion he'd let escape him in large amounts, but even then, it wasn't anything major. Keith was an expert at hiding emotions. Yet, his sobbing did nothing to hide them now. 

   Lance kept feeling like he was invading Keith's privacy, but their rooms were so close to each other. There was no way he couldn't hear those distraught sounds. Lance couldn't help it. He couldn't bear to hear Keith like that anymore. He exited his own room and stood anxiously in front of Keith's door. He gently knocked, hoping that it was loud enough for Keith to notice. Seconds passed and noises of sniffling echoed to Lance.

   "I'm here," Keith finally called.

   Lance allowed himself to smirk slightly at Keith's comment. Of course he was there. Duh. His cries weren't at all ignorable, which was the whole point of knocking in the first place.

   "Hey, Keith," Lance said through the wall.

   It was a muffled reply, but Lance managed to hear it. "Oh, Lance..."

   Lance gulped. Keith's disappointed response began to make Lance's chest ache. He was probably the last person he wanted to see right now. Lance ignored that thought and continued speaking, "Can I come in?"

   "I'd rather you not," Keith replied quickly.

   Fine. Lance didn't need to be in there to comfort him. But he really did want to be in the room, readily available for Keith to quite literally cry into his shoulder as he held him in a tight embrace. Okay, now was not the best time to be thinking about that kind of stuff. Lance pressed his back against Keith's door and slid down it until he was seated in front of it. He had to help Keith somehow.

   "I'm really sorry," Lance started. "I know he was really important to you."

   " _Is_ ," Keith corrected sternly through the wall.

   Lance sighed. "Yeah, you're right. Is. We're going to find him. I know we will. He'll be back here with us any day now."

   Keith's next words were quiet and muffled by the layers of metal in between them, but Lance still managed to hear them. "I wish that day was today."

   "I'm here for you, Keith," Lance continued, letting out a small laugh after his last words. "I promise that I won't leave your side until you're sick of me. Which is probably now, huh?"

   Lance heard a thud from Keith's room, but there was no reply to what he just said. Lance waited patiently for a few minutes. After an awkward amount of silence, Lance spoke up again.

   "Are you okay, Keith?"

   Keith's voice was small and weak, unlike his usual tone. It didn't seem to be out of sadness as would be expected, but instead it seemed shocked at Lance. "Yeah, I'm fine."

   Silence filled the area again. Lance wanted to say something, anything that would erase each and every one of Keith's problems. He didn't want Keith to hurt anymore. But Lance wasn't the one who had a way with words. He didn't know how to encourage people with a brief speech. He didn't know how boost someone else's esteem. How could he when he didn't even know how to do that for himself? That wasn't Lance's skill. For Keith, that person was always Shiro. But Shiro was gone. Lance brought his knees to his chest, hugging his arms around them. He felt so useless to Keith now more than he ever had. His eyes began to water and he brought one hand up to wipe the forming tears away.

   Then, Lance opened his mouth. Whenever he didn't know what to do, there was always one thing he could fall back on to attempt to lift his spirits. Lance's voice was raspy at first as he sung, but as the song progressed, it became more soothing.

_Me complace amarte disfruto acariciarte y ponerte a dormir_

   He listened to the song often since it was first released. His mother would sing it softly to his father as she cooked dinner. Lance memorized the words, dreaming of the day he would find someone he could apply it to. He longed for the day where the raw emotion in the song made sense to him and he could clearly picture the person that made him feel that way in his head. Right then, all he could see when he closed his eyes was Keith. 

  _es escalofriante tenerte de frente hacerte sonreír_

_daría cualquier cosa por tan primorosa por estar siempre aquí_

   It made so much sense to him in that moment. Lance thought carefully about the words as he sung them, realizing how true they were. He wanted to be there for Keith. He wanted to see him smile and be the one who put that smile on his face.

    _entre todas esas cosas déjame quererte entrégate a mi_

_no te fallare contigo yo quiero envejecer_

   As the lyrics escaped his lips, he couldn't stop himself from allowing his tears to drip down his cheeks. Keith was his rival. Or at least, that's probably all Keith saw them as. Rivals. But holy fuck, was Lance in love with Keith. He stopped caring about the fact that Keith was male. It didn't matter. Girl, boy, he could love either just the same. And now, his heart was aching for the boy with the stupid mullet, the haunting violet eyes, and a splatter of freckles over his face. But deep down, Lance believed there was no way that Keith would feel the same for him. Yet he wanted it so badly, for Keith to love Lance as Lance loved him.

_quiero darte un beso perder contigo mi tiempo guardar tus secretos cuidar tus momentos abrazarte, esperarte, adorarte tenerte paciencia_

_tu locura es mi ciencia_

  He could hear Keith shuffle his position in his room and a small noise echoed that told Lance that Keith had pressed himself against the wall to better hear Lance's singing. He was thankful that Keith couldn't speak Spanish and figure out what the lyrics really meant. Or at least he hoped Keith couldn't speak Spanish.

_disfruto,... mirarte cada movimiento vicio que tengo un gusto valorarte nunca olvidarte entregarte mis tiempos_

_no te fallare contigo yo quiero envejecer_

   After he sang the first time, Keith slowly started leaving his room more often. He still didn't talk much, but it was better than him laying in bed and feeling sorry for himself. It turns out that Keith really didn't understand Spanish, which wasn't surprising. Keith asked him about it while he sat at the dining table, poking at his food goo.

   "What was that song? The one you were singing last night?"

   Lance immediately felt blood start to rush to his face, trying to think of how to word his answer so that it didn't reveal that it was a love song. "Oh, uhh... It's a song I listened to a lot when I felt down. It always made me feel better, so I thought... I thought it might help you feel better too."

   Keith eyed Lance carefully, noticing that he wasn't acting like his usual arrogant self. Lance wasn't nervous often and he definitely didn't always blush at cute boys. Wait, could Keith tell that he was even blushing? He didn't know.

   "Okay," Keith said, pausing before adding more. "Thank you. It did help, even though I couldn't understand a single word of it."

   Keith smiled slightly and suddenly, Lance was beaming with happiness. It was the first time Keith had smiled in a long time and Lance caused it! 

   "Could you..." Keith started again. "Can you sing it to me again? Tonight?"

   Lance's eyes widened at Keith's request. "Yeah, yeah! Of course!"

  Lance had tried to ignore how Keith's eye watered as he finally shoveled the goo into his mouth. "Thanks.."

   When all of the paladins headed to their room that night, Lance sat outside of Keith's room, just like he did the day before, singing the same song. It became a nightly thing. Whenever he heard Keith enter his room for the night, Lance left his, sat outside, and started singing. It was a routine now and Keith never asked him to stop, so he kept doing it. Sometimes before he sang, Keith would talk to him. Lance was no Shiro, but he was still glad that he was able to comfort Keith in his own way. Eventually, Keith acted as he did before. Even so, Lance still found himself singing outside of Keith's room every single day. With each passing day, Lance began to wish more and more that Keith could just understand the words in the song. Understand how he felt about him.

   Sometime during one of his singing sessions, Keith had mentioned that he wished Shiro would be back by his birthday. Lance had demanded to know when that was and Keith gave in after tons of pleas. Lance, realizing how close that day was, knew that Shiro wouldn't be back. They still hadn't tracked down his location, if he could even be found at this point. Lance heart dropped, knowing that Keith was set up only for disappointment. 

  Lance was in the kitchen early in the morning on Keith's birthday, early enough that nobody else was awake. He had to be in love with Keith, because there's no way he'd be doing this for anyone else. His hands were filthy with icing and he let out a sigh as he squeezed the last of it out of the bag. He hated baking and he hated getting dirty. This was awful. He looked down at the small cake Hunk had helped him prepare, who had passed out on the couch soon after helping Lance. Even with Hunk's initial assistance, the cake looked like a mess, probably because Lance had no clue about how to control a piping bag. He only made the cake big enough for a single serving, but it still looked like a disaster. 

  Lance couldn't get Shiro back, so he decided to go with something more manageable that would make Keith happy, even if just a little. The whole time while baking the cake with the closest to the actual ingredients needed that he could find in the ship, Lance judged Keith's taste. Strawberry. His favorite cake flavor was _strawberry_. Lance thought that the ordinary vanilla cake was bad enough (chocolate cake was far superior, in his opinion), but strawberry? Lance stuck his tongue out and fake gagged when Keith told him his cake preference. But if this would make him happy, he would try to judge him less for it. 

   He placed the cake in front of the door, positioning it so that the sloppy, almost illegible, red writing that spelled out "Happy Birthday" could be read when Keith opened the door. He knocked loudly a few times before dashing out of where Keith could see him. He watched as the door slid open and Keith peered down the halls, trying to figure out where the surprise gift came from. He hesitated before picking it up and retreating back into his room.

   Once everyone was awake and eating their breakfast, Keith approached Lance.

   "You made that cake, didn't you?" he asked.

   Lance gulped, afraid of if Keith hated it or not. He nodded.

   "It looked terrible," Keith shook his head as he spoke. The next part was said with a hint of laughter. "You're lucky I gave it a chance and ate it. It was surprisingly good."

   Lance's heart skipped a beat. He liked it? Keith liked it! The next thing he knew, Lance had his arms squeezed around Keith. "Ah, thank god! Hunk left me on my own, so I thought it was gonna be a load of shit."

   "Let go of me, asshole," Keith said, but neither his expression nor tone seemed angry. In fact, he was trying to hide his smile as he told Lance that. He was definitely back to his old self, at least.

   Lance released him. He wished he hadn't. As soon as Keith was out of his arms, he desperately wanted him back in his embrace. Days after Keith's birthday passed quickly. It was also months after Coran had advised Lance to tell Keith how he felt. He's been putting it off for far too long. He needed to just get it out, but the risk he faced once he did was too great. They were getting close and Keith trusted him. He didn't want to ruin that with his dumb crush. No, it was more than a crush at this point. But still, it was something Lance was conflicted about doing. Should he tell him or not?

   As soon as he heard the door to Keith's room open, Lance found his usual place in front of it. It was weird. Keith didn't need Lance singing to him anymore, but he did anyways. It was something that was expected. Without the song being sung, the day felt off. It didn't feel complete. So Lance started singing again.

_quiero darte un beso perder contigo mi tiempo guardar tus secretos cuidar tus momentos abrazarte, esperarte, adorarte tenerte paciencia_

_tu locura es mi ciencia_

   After finishing, Lance wanted so badly to just explain to Keith what it meant. He wanted Keith to know. He was still so afraid. Keith probably didn't like him in that way. He probably never would. Lance would understand, but it'd hurt. He's never actually fallen in love with anybody before. Not like he did with Keith. 

   Lance felt the door slide against his back and he leaned his head back to look up at Keith. This was the first time Keith actually opened the door during a singing session. Every other time, he stayed in his room and enjoyed the sound of Lance's voice. Looking at Keith, Lance could tell something was up. Keith's face was flushed and his gloved hands were balled up in fists. Lance sprung up and turned to face him.

   "Woah, are you alright?" Lance questioned. 

   Keith bit his lower lip and nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay. I just need to talk to you. Face to face. Not between the wall. It's serious. Don't get upset at me, please."

   Lance folded his arms behind his head, trying to hide his nerves. "Oh, okay. I promise I won't get upset. But first... I want to tell you..."

   He wanted to spill it out. He wanted to tell Keith every detail of how he felt, but he was stalling on it. Keith took a deep breath, appearing like he was trying to compose himself. Lance was ready for whatever conversation Keith intended to have, but he didn't want to hold in his feelings any longer. Lance opened his mouth to start his confession, but Keith quickly interrupted, causing Lance's jumbled thoughts to stop dead in their tracks. His mouth continued to stay hung open and his eyes widened as he processed Keith's words.

   "Lance, I'm in love with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, sorry for such a late update. One chapter left, guys!
> 
> If you ever want to do fanart or anything for this and upload it on Tumblr, please tag me in it! My URL is FaeOfStars. I'd love to see it! :)
> 
> If anybody's curious, the song Lance is singing is called Disfruto by Carla Morrison. (I don't know many Spanish songs..but I thought that it fit pretty well. It's such a pretty song.)


	6. Acceptance

    _Fucking shit_. Keith probably just made the biggest mistake of his life. It felt right to do in the moment. But now, seeing Lance's reaction, it all seemed wrong. So very wrong. This wasn't the right time. It wasn't the right place. It never would be because of course Lance didn't feel the same way and of course his first reaction was to freeze in place with a look of utter shock plastered on his face, complete with impossibly wide eyes and a jaw hanging so low, Keith worried it was unhinged. He understood Lance's state, because he himself was in disbelief. He just told Lance McClain that he was in fucking love with him.

   "Fuck, I'm sorry, Lance," Keith apologized, trying to fix what he could of this mess. "I really shouldn't have said that. Just... please try to forget this ever happened. Damn it, I'm so stupid."

   Keith brought a hand to his face while his other hand found at familiar spot at his hip.

   "I wasn't thinking."

   That was true. It was a complete impulse decision. 

   "I didn't want to tell you that."

   Also true, to an extent. He didn't want to tell Lance while they were still stuck on the ship together. He planned to tell him after their work as paladins was done and over with, and by that point, Keith guessed he'd probably be over him and wouldn't even need to tell him.

   "Ugh."

   Lance still hadn't budged or said anything in response to Keith, so Keith backed up into his room and let the door slide close. He fell onto his bed and kept his face covered with his hands. He groaned loudly and cursed to himself. After a minute of this, he heard pounding on his door.

   "Keith, wait, hold on!" he could hear Lance yell. "Come back out here."

   "I'm never leaving this room again," Keith stated.

   "Keeiiittthhh, come onnnn," Lance pleaded, drawing out the words.

   "Go away, Lance."

   "Keith, if you don't come out here, I'm opening this door and coming in there myself," Lance warned him.

   God, Keith wished that Lance would stop saying his name and stop being so nice. Stupid Lance and his stupid singing. That's what started this in the first place. If Lance didn't sing to him every night, Keith wouldn't feel the need to even tell Lance his feelings all of a sudden. Why did he tell him? Why did he even fall in love with him of all people? Keith grabbed his pillow and shoved it into his face. Maybe he would suffocate and wouldn't have to deal with this situation.

   "Come on, hothead," Keith heard a voice move closer to him. He jumped slightly and peeked his eyes over the pillow. He didn't even hear when the door opened because of his groans. "You should know better than to think I would just let you storm off."

   Lance was in his room now, sitting on his bed. Oh my god, Lance was sitting on _his_  bed. He tucked his eyes back behind the pillow, still hoping for suffocation, but now also hiding the redness of his face. 

   "Sit up. I want to talk, like we should have a long time ago," Lance ordered.

   Keith let out a growl, slowly removing the pillow from his face and changing his position so that he was sitting up where he was just laying. Lance shook his head and patted a spot on the mattress next to him, causing Keith to growl again. Keith scooted to the edge of his bed next to Lance and folded his arms across his chest. He carefully observed Lance. Lance was staring at him, a smile gradually spreading on his face. Right when Keith thought his smile couldn't possibly get any larger, he started laughing. It wasn't a laugh that he usually heard from Lance. His normal laugh was loud at first and lowered in volume as he would composed himself from whatever humorous thing he just witnessed. This laugh was a giddy laugh. It was soft, just like how it made Keith feel as he heard it.  His hands hid most of his face as he laughed. Keith tilted his head in confusion and Lance stopped laughing and let his hands fall down.

   "I really can't believe this. You're actually in love with me. And you told me!" Lance exclaimed, still keeping that same large, bright smile.

   "Stop," Keith demanded. "I told you to forget that I said that."

   "No, Keith. You don't understand! Oh my god," Lance said as he let out another short, soft laugh. "Do you remember when you were a fighter pilot at the Garrison?"

   "Yeah? What does that have to do with anything?" Keith asked, raising an eyebrow. He uncrossed his arms and let his hands grip the edge of his bed.

   Lance tilted his head up, staring at the ceiling as he explained, "I really looked up to you back then. You were always doing all kinds of cool stuff. I was pretty jealous, honestly. I was just a cargo pilot who couldn't even pass a simulation while you did everything so easily. You were so skilled and full of potential. It was like you didn't even have to try!"

   Keith's face heated up hearing what Lance thought of him. "Is there a point to this?"

  "Yes, there is! I'll get to it if you don't interrupt me," Lance told him.

   "Fine, go on," Keith replied.

   "Anyways, uh, I guess I kinda wanted to be you. I did everything I could to try and one-up you. I made you my self-proclaimed rival. I thought you considered me a rival too, but apparently you didn't until we became paladins. But to me, you were always my rival. You were somebody I could compete with. It was great, until you left the Garrison. Sure, I got upgraded to a fighter pilot like I always dreamed of, but it was only because of you. Iverson always made a point to compare me to you and it pissed me off, but I guess I didn't help any by comparing myself to you all the time anyways," Lance went on. "At some point around when you left, I realized that the whole "rival" thing was just a shield to hide behind."

   "Where exactly are you going with this?" Keith asked as he stared at Lance.

   "Hold on, I'm getting to it! Stop interrupting!" Lance instructed as he continued on with his rant. "I started realizing that I viewed you as something other than just a rival. For some reason, I cared that you were gone and I missed having you around. That feeling bothered me. I didn't want to admit it, so I kept insisting you were a rival, that's all. So when I saw you rescuing Shiro that day, my head went straight to one-upping you like I always tried to. Once we became paladins, I decided to continue hiding behind the rivalry shield, because for the first time, you started paying attention to me. I thought it was good enough for me and it prevented the need to confront my real feelings. It wasn't until I stop getting attention because you avoided me that I really came to terms with everything."

   Lance flashed Keith a smile. Keith gripped his bed tighter, trying to figure out the meaning behind Lance's word. "What exactly are you trying to say?"

   Suddenly, Lance's hand grabbed onto Keith's, slowly interlacing their fingers together. Keith locked his eyes onto their hands, mouth slightly hanging open. His stomach flipped and his heart started pounding as fast as it did in battle. 

   "Of course I have to spell it out for you," Lance laughed. "I've had a crush on you for the longest time that I just didn't want to admit because that would mean admitting I'm not as straight as I thought I was. And if that's not good enough for you, let me put it in your words. Keith, I'm in love with you."

   Now it was Keith in a stunned state. He had opened his mouth to respond, but couldn't find the words. This couldn't be real, could it? There's no way. No way did _Lance_  love him.

   "You're serious?" he managed to get out. 

   "Of course I'm serious! I wouldn't go through this much trouble all for a joke," Lance said. "Keith, I really really like you."

   "You..." Keith started, but again, the words couldn't form.

   "Yes, Keith, I actually like you. Surprise, I know," Lance said as he stared directly into Keith's eyes. "And I... I would totally be up for dating you, even if that means having my first ever boyfriend and letting everyone know that I'm bi."

   "Boyfriend?" Keith repeated the word.

   "How's it sound?" Lance asked. "I mean, it's fine if you don't want to."

   "I, uhh... Yeah, that'd be nice," he finally replied.

   Instantly, Lance's face lit up and his huge smile from earlier was spread on his face yet again and Keith could feel his own lips lift up. "Hey Keith?"

   "Yeah?"

   "You don't really think I'm the worst pilot ever, do you?"

   It was Keith's turn to laugh. "No, but you're pretty bad."

   Lance smirked. "You could have just stopped at 'pretty'."

   Keith rolled his eyes. Lance was still Lance. He was still annoying and arrogant, but that was a part of what Keith found so endearing about him. He examined Lance's face and he had to agree, Lance was pretty. _Boyfriend_. The word bounced around in Keith's brain. Lance was his boyfriend. This couldn't be real. It had to be fake. It was too good to be true. 

   "Hey, can I kiss you?"

   Keith snapped out of his thoughts. His shock must have been visible in his expression, because Lance soon added more to his question.

   "It's fine if you don't want to!" he said, almost frantically. "I just... I think it's something I've wanted to do for such a long time. It's okay if you're not ready for that, I don't want to pressure you into..."

   Keith quickly cut him off. He removed his hand from underneath Lance's and cupped both of them on Lance's jaw. Keith took a moment to observe him. A red color dusted Lance's tanned skin and his vividly blue eyes were wide with anticipation. Keith lead his eyes downwards and focused on Lance's lips. Within seconds, his eyes fluttered closed and he pulled Lance forwards so that those lips were touching his own.

   Time seemed to pause as Keith let the sensation overwhelm him. Lance's lips were so ridiculously soft that Keith felt a little insecure about his own chapped lips. His entire body felt warm, even his fingertips that were usually always cold. The lips, as soft as they were, gave off so much heat that it felt like there were a fire burning inbetween them. It reminded Keith of the flames in a fireplace that you'd sit in front of after being out in the harsh winter temperatures for so long. The flames that you'd so desperately want to feel to warm you up. It was just like how Keith so desperately wanted to feel Lance's warmth. Keith rubbed his thumbs against Lance's jaw, noticing how soft he was. Everything was soft about him. His lips, his skin, his hair, his clothes, and even the way he kissed Keith. It contrasted dramatically with Keith's roughness, but it did it in a way that it worked together. Two opposites combining to create perfection.

   The kiss only lasted for a minute at most, but it felt much longer in Keith's mind. As their lips carefully separated, there was one thing that he couldn't deny. Nothing that he just felt could be made up. It wasn't a product of a dream because even dreams couldn't compare to what he just experienced. 

   "This is real."

   "Yeah, it is," Lance breathed out. He pressed their foreheads and gazed into Keith's dark eyes.

   "This is actually real. I can't believe this," Keith repeated, still wrapping his head around it.

   Lance grinned before pulling his boyfriend in for another kiss, eager to show him how real this was. Keith let him, accepting that this was now his reality.

   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you for reading this far. This is the end of this story and I really hope you all enjoyed. I had a lot of fun writing this. :) Please leave comments, because those make my day!
> 
> If you ever make fanart for this and post it on Tumblr, makes sure you tag me, FaeOfStars, in it so that I can see.


End file.
